Finally, I had a chance to access the computer. As a ward-based health care assistant (HCA) 14 years ago that didn’t happen every day. But when I checked my emails, my heart sank. I can’t even remember what the email was about, but I remember the distribution list I was included in.
“Untrained.”
That’s how someone decided to refer to me. Not just me, but to all nursing support workers in the department.
I was relatively new in my role, but I wasn’t untrained or unskilled. This kind of language was fairly common at the time, and it hurt.
Dividing the team in this way achieves nothing but makes people feel excluded and unvalued
The email had been sent to 2 groups of staff. The “untrained” and the “trained”. But why did we need to differentiate between registered and non-registered staff? We all work in the same team and come with a range of experiences and skills.
We all have the same overall aim – to deliver person-centred safe and effective care for patients. Dividing the team in this way achieves nothing but makes people feel excluded and unvalued.
Sadly, it wasn’t an isolated incident.
Building confidence
More recently, I was working on a busy ward when a registered nurse felt it was appropriate to click her fingers at me to get my attention and refer to me as “my health care”.
I’m an experienced health care professional and very knowledgeable in the area I was working in on that day. However busy we are, I would always treat people with respect.
My colleague's patient care skills were in no doubt, but this is how she chose to interact with me in front of patients. What kind of message did that send?
I ignored the first few clicks, but she kept doing it. I was angry and upset but initially felt we were too busy for me to address this. In the end, I had to.
You’re clicking your fingers at me, and I find this offensive
I calmly requested a private conversation. “You’re clicking your fingers at me, and I find this offensive. I’m not a dog, but you’re making me feel like an animal. I’m more than happy to help, but I’m Gemma and I’m a person,” I said.
At the end of the shift she apologised to me and thanked me for my help.
This was a great result for everyone. It meant that I didn’t have to resort to speaking to her manager and I felt that my views were respected. By speaking out and educating my colleague, I didn’t just solve the problem I was facing in that moment but would hopefully make a difference for others in the future.
It had taken me years of confidence-building to get to the point of being able to have this conversation. I can’t help but think back to my younger self and how I wouldn’t have said anything. It still would have eaten away at my confidence and destroyed my self-esteem.
Disrespect at work: Gemma's tips on tackling it
- Think before you react and write down what happened: especially if this is repeated behaviour as your notes could be used as evidence.
- Be direct and specific: describe the behaviour clearly without generalisations, focusing on specific actions rather than personal traits.
- Listen and show empathy: allow the individual to share their perspective, actively listening to understand any underlying issues or misunderstandings.
- Explain the impact on others: help the person understand how their behaviour affects colleagues, the team dynamic, and overall productivity.
- Discuss the behaviour in your clinical supervision sessions or in one-to-ones: if your employer has wellbeing services, this is a good time to use them.
- Find out if there’s a peer support network in your workplace: we’ve set up a monthly get-together where we meet to celebrate the good things and unpick situations.
- Keep workplace policies in mind: seek support from a colleague or RCN representative.
- Escalate if necessary: speak to your RCN rep to get support.
Take time to reflect
This problem isn’t limited to nursing support workers. We can all be unintentionally careless with our language, but we just need to remember the impact this can have.
“Talk to the student”. I know I’ve said it, but it’s so impersonal. I’m trying hard to change my language now. Instead of referring to the “student in bay 4”, I try to remember to say: “Michelle, a student, working in bay 4”.
Without realising it, we regularly identify each other by the colour of our uniforms.
I’ve recently changed my role and noticed how many more people speak to me and ask my opinion when I’m not in my light blue uniform that identifies me as a nursing support worker in Scotland.
I have years of experience, and with a degree, I’m certainly not untrained. I’m proud of my role and proud to wear the light blue uniform.
But we’re all more than a uniform. We’re all people with feelings. Courtesy and kindness costs nothing but is so valuable.
Courtesy and kindness costs nothing but is so valuable
It takes more than one person to make this change happen. If you’re not speaking up or seeking support if you feel you’re not being respected in work, you’re enabling the situation to continue.
The whole team needs to know everyone for who they are and what they bring. We must all look past what people wear and see the health care professional instead.
Find out more
- Problems at work checklist: helpful tips for resolving common workplace problems.
- The RCN Nursing Support Worker conference addresses the power of inclusive language and takes place on 23 November 2024. Find out more about this free conference and book your place.
- The RCN Equity, Diversity and Inclusion Conference focuses on the transformative power of conversations and aims to provide you with the tools to tackle the issues that often feel hard to surface safely and productively. Find out how to join on 11 December 2024.
